- Santa Barbara, CA
- (805) 203-0717
Sex Addiction, Pornography &
Compulsive Sexual Behavior Resources
At Capricorn Counseling, we provide support for individuals and couples affected by compulsive sexual behavior, problematic pornography use, sexual acting out, relationship betrayal, and related concerns.
If sexual behavior, pornography use, masturbation, affairs, anonymous sexual encounters, sexual fantasy, online sexual activity, or other sexual behaviors feel increasingly difficult to control, help is available.
People seek treatment for many different reasons. Some experience persistent pornography use despite repeated attempts to stop. Others struggle with compulsive masturbation, affairs, sexual acting out, escalating sexual behaviors, secrecy, relationship damage, shame, or an increasing amount of time devoted to sexual fantasy and behavior.
The terminology used to describe these concerns varies. You may hear the terms sex addiction, pornography addiction, sexual compulsivity, compulsive sexual behavior, problematic pornography use, out-of-control sexual behavior, or Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder (CSBD).
Regardless of the terminology, the important question is not simply how often someone engages in sexual behavior. More important is whether the behavior feels out of control, repeatedly conflicts with personal values or commitments, causes significant distress, damages relationships or other areas of life, and continues despite negative consequences.
Signs Sexual Behavior May Have Become a Problem
Consider seeking professional support when one or more of the following patterns are occurring:
- Repeated unsuccessful attempts to reduce or stop sexual behavior
- Compulsive or difficult-to-control pornography use
- Compulsive masturbation
- Increasing amounts of time spent searching for pornography or sexual material
- Escalation toward increasingly novel, intense, or stimulating material
- Sexual behavior that interferes with work, relationships, sleep, finances, or responsibilities
- Chronic affairs or repeated violations of relationship agreements
- Anonymous or high-risk sexual encounters
- Persistent sexual preoccupation, fantasy, or obsession
- Using sexual behavior to escape loneliness, anxiety, anger, stress, shame, boredom, or emotional pain
- Lying, hiding, deleting evidence, or maintaining secret accounts or devices
- Continuing the behavior despite relationship, financial, professional, legal, or health consequences
- Significant shame, guilt, depression, or anxiety following sexual behavior
- Difficulty experiencing desired sexual arousal or intimacy without pornography or highly stimulating sexual material
- Periods of rigid sexual avoidance followed by renewed compulsive behavior
- Feeling that sexual behavior has become inconsistent with the person you want to be
Having one or more of these experiences does not automatically mean that someone has a disorder. A qualified clinician can help determine what is happening and what type of treatment may be appropriate.
Screening & Self-Assessment
Self-assessments cannot diagnose a disorder, but they can provide a useful starting point.
Sex Addiction Screening Test-Revised (SAST-R)
The SAST-R is a widely used screening questionnaire developed from the work of Dr. Patrick Carnes.
Sexual Addiction Risk Assessment (SARA)
A more extensive self-assessment examining sexual behaviors, patterns, and possible consequences.
https://sexhelp.com/online-tools-for-sex-help/
SexHelp
Educational information, assessments, treatment resources, and therapist referrals.
Finding Specialized Treatment
When seeking treatment, consider working with a licensed mental-health professional who has specific education and experience treating compulsive sexual behavior, problematic pornography use, sexual acting out, betrayal, and relationship repair.
Certified Sex Addiction Therapists
The International Institute for Trauma & Addiction Professionals, or IITAP, provides advanced training for Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs) in the assessment and treatment of problematic and compulsive sexual behavior.
Find a CSAT
https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357
When choosing a therapist, ask about their experience treating your specific concern rather than assuming that every therapist who treats addiction has specialized training in compulsive sexual behavior.
Recovery & Support Groups
Professional psychotherapy and peer support can complement one another. Some individuals benefit from participating in a recovery fellowship in addition to individual, group, or couples therapy.
Sex Addicts Anonymous — SAA
Sex Addicts Anonymous is a Twelve-Step fellowship for people who want to stop addictive sexual behavior. SAA offers in-person and online meetings.
Find a meeting:
https://saa-recovery.org/meetings/
Main website:
The Three Circles
One commonly used SAA recovery tool is the Three Circles model.
Rather than defining recovery as abstinence from all sexuality, participants identify:
Inner Circle: Behaviors they have decided are incompatible with recovery.
Middle Circle: Warning signs, situations, or behaviors that may move them toward acting out.
Outer Circle: Healthy behaviors, relationships, activities, and practices that support recovery and a meaningful life.
https://saa-recovery.org/literature/three-circles-defining-sexual-sobriety-in-saa/
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous — S.L.A.A.
S.L.A.A. is a Twelve-Step fellowship for people experiencing problematic patterns involving sex, romantic relationships, emotional dependency, romantic obsession, sexual compulsivity, or sexual and emotional avoidance.
Find meetings:
Online meetings:
https://slaafws.org/onlinemeetings/
Newcomer information:
https://slaafws.org/newcomers/
S.L.A.A. 40 Questions
S.L.A.A. offers 40 self-reflection questions that may help people determine whether patterns of sex and love addiction are affecting their lives.
https://slaafws.org/40-questions/
SMART Recovery
SMART Recovery is a secular alternative for individuals who prefer a non-Twelve-Step approach.
Its model focuses on:
- Building and maintaining motivation
- Coping with urges
- Managing thoughts, emotions, and behaviors
- Building a balanced and meaningful life
Pornography & Compulsive Pornography Use
Pornography can become problematic when its use becomes repetitive and difficult to control or begins interfering with relationships, sexual functioning, responsibilities, emotional well-being, or personal values.
Treatment may address:
- Pornography cravings and triggers
- Habit loops and conditioned responses
- Escalation toward more stimulating or novel material
- Compulsive masturbation
- Emotional triggers such as loneliness, anxiety, anger, shame, stress, or boredom
- Sexual arousal patterns
- Intimacy avoidance
- Relationship disconnection
- Secrecy and deception
- Digital access and environmental triggers
- Relapse prevention
- Development of healthy sexuality
- Rebuilding real-world intimacy and connection
Treatment is not intended to shame sexuality or automatically label pornography use as pathological. The goal is to help people regain choice, behavioral control, integrity, and a sexual life that is consistent with their values.
Help for Partners & Couples
Compulsive sexual behavior often affects more than one person.
Discovery of secret pornography use, affairs, sexual encounters, financial expenditures, online sexual activity, or prolonged deception can produce significant distress for partners.
Partners may experience:
- Shock
- Anxiety
- Hypervigilance
- Intrusive thoughts
- Anger
- Grief
- Difficulty sleeping
- Loss of emotional safety
- Sexual insecurity
- Difficulty knowing what information is true
- Repeated checking or searching for evidence
- Fear of additional discoveries
- Difficulty making decisions about the relationship
Partners frequently need their own support, boundaries, stabilization, education, and opportunity to recover.
Couples may also need specialized help with disclosure, rebuilding trust, boundaries, communication, sexual intimacy, and determining the future of the relationship.
Recommended Books
Sex Addiction & Compulsive Sexual Behavior
Out of the Shadows
Patrick Carnes, PhD
A foundational text in the sex-addiction treatment field.
Don’t Call It Love
Patrick Carnes, PhD
Explores patterns, consequences, and recovery related to compulsive sexual behavior.
Facing the Shadow
Patrick Carnes, PhD
A structured recovery workbook commonly used alongside therapy.
A Gentle Path Through the Twelve Steps
Patrick Carnes, PhD
Applies Twelve-Step principles to behavioral and sexual recovery.
Sex Addicts Anonymous
The primary text of the SAA fellowship and an introduction to its recovery model.
Pornography & Online Sexual Behavior
In the Shadows of the Net
Patrick Carnes, David Delmonico, and Elizabeth Griffin
Addresses compulsive online sexual behavior and pornography.
Untangling the Web: Sex, Porn and Fantasy Obsession
Robert Weiss and Jennifer Schneider
Focused on compulsive pornography, fantasy, and online sexual behavior.
For Partners
Mending a Shattered Heart
Edited by Stefanie Carnes, PhD
A resource for partners dealing with the impact of sexual addiction and betrayal.
The Betrayal Bond
Patrick Carnes, PhD
Examines traumatic bonds and destructive relationship patterns.
Relationship & Family Patterns
Silently Seduced
Kenneth M. Adams, PhD
Examines emotional incest and enmeshment within families.
When He’s Married to Mom
Kenneth M. Adams, PhD
Explores mother-son enmeshment and its potential impact on adult relationships and intimacy.
Ready to Heal
Kelly McDaniel
Written primarily for women struggling with unhealthy patterns involving love, sex, and relationships.
Women, Sex and Addiction
Charlotte Kasl, PhD
Explores compulsive sexual and relational patterns among women.
Understanding the Terminology
There is professional debate about how problematic sexual behavior should be conceptualized.
Sex addiction is a commonly used clinical and recovery term and is the terminology used by organizations such as IITAP and recovery fellowships including Sex Addicts Anonymous.
The World Health Organization’s ICD-11 recognizes Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder (CSBD) as an impulse-control disorder.
Other clinicians may use terms such as:
- Problematic sexual behavior
- Compulsive sexual behavior
- Out-of-control sexual behavior
- Problematic pornography use
Different professional organizations do not necessarily use the same terminology or conceptual model.
These differences should not obscure an important reality: people can experience genuine distress, loss of control, relationship damage, and other serious consequences associated with sexual behavior and deserve compassionate, evidence-informed treatment.
Recovery Is More Than Stopping a Behavior
Long-term recovery generally involves more than simply eliminating pornography use or sexual acting out.
Treatment may involve learning to:
- Recognize triggers
- Tolerate difficult emotions without escaping through sexual behavior
- Interrupt automatic behavioral patterns
- Reduce secrecy
- Develop accountability
- Establish healthy boundaries
- Repair relationship damage
- Develop emotional intimacy
- Address trauma when clinically appropriate
- Improve emotional and behavioral self-regulation
- Develop healthy sexuality
- Reconnect sexuality with intimacy and personal values
- Build meaningful relationships and activities
- Develop a sustainable relapse-prevention plan
The goal is not the elimination of sexuality. The goal is greater freedom, choice, honesty, intimacy, emotional health, and the development of a satisfying sexual life that is consistent with the individual’s values.
Additional Resources
International Institute for Trauma & Addiction Professionals — IITAP
Professional education, CSAT certification, therapist directories, assessments, and educational resources.
SexHelp
Education, screening tools, and treatment resources.
Sex Addicts Anonymous
Meetings, recovery literature, newcomer resources, and Twelve-Step support.
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
Meetings and resources addressing problematic patterns involving sexuality, relationships, romantic attachment, and avoidance.
SMART Recovery
A secular recovery program utilizing cognitive, behavioral, and motivational tools.
Seeking Help at Capricorn Counseling
Capricorn Counseling provides psychotherapy for individuals and couples dealing with concerns related to compulsive sexual behavior, pornography use, sexual acting out, relationship betrayal, intimacy, and recovery.
Treatment can be individualized based on each person’s history, goals, relationships, values, and current circumstances.
If you are unsure whether your behavior qualifies as an addiction or simply know that something in your sexual life feels out of control, distressing, secretive, or destructive, an assessment can help clarify what is happening and identify appropriate next steps.
Contact Capricorn Counseling to learn more about treatment options or to schedule an initial consultation.
Important Note
The information and resources provided on this page are for educational purposes only and are not intended to diagnose any individual or replace assessment or treatment by a qualified healthcare professional.
A screening questionnaire alone cannot determine whether someone has a mental-health disorder. Sexual behavior should be considered within the broader context of functioning, relationships, values, culture, mental health, and overall circumstances.
Resources listed on this page are provided for informational purposes. Inclusion does not necessarily constitute endorsement of every position, treatment model, publication, or statement made by an outside organization.